“The rules govern the soil farmers use, farm and food production hygiene, food packaging, food temperatures and even what animals may roam which fields and when.”—A press release from the Trump campaign about repealing the “inspection overkill” by the FDA “Food Police”.
Leave the milk out in the sun
Don’t worry if the chicken’s done
We’ll feed the crowds on red raw meat
Cut the rules down to a tweet.
Stop excessive regulations
On gastropods and on crustaceans.
Don’t look at how your laws are made
Or sausages, or lemonade.
Or tacos, tuna salad, franks
(Or pipelines, power plants and banks)
We will build a giant wall
Six feet thick and ten feet tall
Negotiate the toughest terms
Keeping out those foreign germs.
Just like we’ll beat Iran and Syria
We’ll win the war against bacteria.
Hygiene’s where I take my stand
It’s why I never shake your hand.
And I won’t ever die, because
I get advice from Dr. Oz.
Elect me, people, and I vow:
Your goose is cooked. Just don’t ask how.