Therefore, everybody is in the market; therefore you can make people buy broccoli?–Justice Antonin Scalia, during arguments over the individual mandate in the Affordable Care Act.
Attention shoppers! In aisle 3,
Adjacent to the halal meat,
Ten pound bags of broccoli!
Make sure you get a tax receipt.
Your kids will shower you with plaudits.
They love broccoli, and each
Stalk protects you from tax audits
When you serve that giant quiche.
Trained forensic dieticians
Are on hand to help you fill
Your quota of approved nutritions
As set forth in the health-care bill.
As you exit, on your way out
Have your ID handy, or
Please display your brussels sprout
To the agent at the door.
Facing down that awful fate
One man is bold enough to state
“You shall not cruciferate
Mankind on a golden plate.
Or on his fevered brow impale
This crown of broccoli and kale.”