Newsweek will end its print publication after 80 years and shift to an all-digital format in early 2013–The Washington Post


Sing, O Muse, and Goddess, speak ye:

Death, as it must to each newsweekly

Comes now to the world’s most quoted.

Once so thick it barely floated,

Insouciant and cheeky.


Who did the deed? Who was the psycho

Who sold that final ad to Geico

And on the way to shutting down

Threw the switch marked “Fade to Brown”?


And when the final Boomer dies

Will it take us by surprise?

Will women ever have it all?

What will happen to Ron Paul?


If there’s another coup or strongman

In some place like Chad or Mali

The world won’t know the right from wrong man

Unless he’s interviewed by Lally.


And if they find a cure for cancer

Billy Graham’s gay male lover

Prince Charles with a belly dancer

It still won’t make it on the cover.


Chatter on, ye coastal classes

All the world’s a vast arena

History moves on, and passes

Without a backwards glance at Tina.