Roughly half of Christians in the U.S. say they believe that Christ will definitely or probably return to earth in the next 40 years–Pew Research Center


Now living in the End of Times

We sinners all scared shitless

Ask not for whom the doorbell chimes.

It’s some Jehovah’s Witness.


The warning signs are all around

The situation’s dire

The sky is rendered by a sound

The oceans turn to fire.


But of the hour, no one knows.

You can’t Yahoo or Google

The moment when the angel blows

God’s almighty bugle.


It’s knowledge we cannot possess

It’s strictly in God’s will, dear.

Jerry Falwell tried to guess.

But look, the world is still here.


And just in case it’s not the end,

If we’ve got more time, it

Seems like God might recommend

We not fuck up the climate.