New Yorkers brave the streets in flannel, fleece and down and Gore-Tex
Conserving all their body heat for their cerebral cortex
Lest their brains be frozen by the dreaded Arctic Vortex
The East Coast has been turned into a giant North Polarium
You have to wear an overcoat to sit in your solarium
Icebergs clog the rivers and they float in your aquarium
TV tells the story as it shows pathetic scenes
Of mammoth drifts on Sutton Place that block the limousines
Of people you might see on covers of your magazines.
The snowplows all are busy up in Harlem or in Queens.
And though it sometimes seems the weather can’t get any horrida
And it can be quite tempting to imagine someplace torrida
I’d rather be here any day, than anywhere in Florida.