(Reuters) – Syria announced on Monday a presidential election for June 3, preparing the ground for Bashar al-Assad to defy widespread opposition and extend his grip on power.

When you are voting to choose your next strongman

Pay close attention, you don’t want the wrong man

Experience counts more than glamor or flash

So vote for the guy with the little mustache.

He’ll create jobs by the dozens and dozens

Just like he did for his nephews and cousins

There’s nothing to “hope” for, it’s all pre-arranged

And when he wins you’ll find nothing has “changed.”

So vote for a leader of unquestioned vision

And if you need help with this crucial decision

Your friends in the Army can be of assistance

They already know who supports the resistance.

Democracy’s messy, and often cutthroat

Victory goes to who gets out the vote

The voice on the robo-call whispers a warning.

The knock on the door comes at three in the morning.

The trip to the polls is a long one-way ride

Depending, of course, on what you decide.