Now comes the day your Newsverse bard
Grizzled by maturity
Gets his half-price Metrocard
And Social Insecurity.
See him step by step descend
Life’s staircase wreathed in gloom
At the bottom, journey’s end,
He reaches the men’s room.
His day’s work is to contemplate
Creeping in its petty pace
The daily progress of the date
Marking where Earth is in space.
And if he finds the nights are glum
They’re not as bad as mornings.
Too bad that the days don’t come
Tagged with trigger warnings.
So check things off your bucket list
Skydive, surf and scuba!
See the Taj Mahal in mist
Learn to play the tuba.
And you can climb on Machu Picchu
Have yourself a good long look.
All that life can show or teach you
He’ll read about it in a book.
Twisted, shriveled, gnarled and wizened
Gloomier than Jean-Paul Sartre
His life is bounded and horizoned
By his broken heart.