I’m sure when I picked up the phone I heard a little click

The Democrats are listening in! It’s terrible! It’s sick!

The buzzing on the line is proof that someone’s interfering

And only I can hear it ‘cause I have the world’s best hearing.

Is that a pigeon on the ledge, or could it be a drone?

Could that ketchup bottle hold a hidden microphone?

I can see Sean Hannity is blinking in Morse code

A warning that my TV set could blow up and explode.

It’s lucky for the country I’ve been certified a genius

Smart enough to understand these messages from Venus:

Carnage is upon us and it cannot be prevented:

The aliens are landing and they won’t be documented.