For Cinco de Mayo I will drink an entire jar of hot salsa and watch old Speedy Gonzales cartoons and speak Spanish all day. Happy CdMayo! — Tweet by former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee

And I will wear a great big straw sombrero

And other stuff that makes me look Southwestern.

For Passover I’ll get dressed up as Pharaoh

Or Moses as portrayed by Charlton Heston.

 

‘Cause I’m a big believer in diversity

Different doesn’t have to mean you’re less

To celebrate all sexual perversity

I will put on lipstick and a dress.

 

And I will do my famous Senor Wences

It will make you laugh so hard you gotta

Tear down all those border walls and fences!

America: We’re Mexico’s piñata!

 

It’s all about our national priorities.

I side with the neglected and downtrodden

Immigrants and poor oppressed minorities.

For Ramadan, I’ll dress up as bin Laden.

 

And even though the media might kvetch, it

Doesn’t matter–any little thing may

Cause a tweetstorm. Dressed like Stepin Fetchit

I’ll show my love for Martin Luther King Day.