This Newsverse originally appeared in 2009, but seems relevant again today.  It also appears in the Archives, along with “Banker, Banker, Burning Bright.:


It is an ancient stockbroker

He’s drinking Coke and Jacks.

“Hey, I know you,” the banker said.

“You worked at Goldman Sachs.


“You swung a big one, so I heard

Way back in the day.

But here I came to watch the game

And now you’re in my way.”


The stockbroker held up a hand

And ordered J&B

He fixed the banker with a stare

“There was a bond,” quoth he.


“Something called a CDO

A total sack of doody

But anyway, a Triple-A

From S&P and Moody.”


“I fear you, ancient stockbroker!

I fear you’ll get me fired!

You’re in the tank with Barney Frank.

I think you might be wired.”


“We flogged it up and down the Street

And lots of other places

And no one thought that what they’d bought

Might blow up in their faces.”


“Chill out, ancient stockbroker!

Get up off the floor!

Why look’st thou so?” “That CDO—

I sold to my brother-in-law!


“And when the housing boom went bust

I had nowhere to hide.

Instead of a bow, the CDO

Around my neck was tied.


“Houses, houses everywhere

And the market sure did stink

Houses, houses everywhere

I had to see a shrink.


“And now I go from bar to bar

From Greenwich to Penn Station

And I try to steer, for the price of a beer

Young bankers from temptation.”


The banker stared into his glass

“I hope you get some takers,”

He slowly said, then shook his head.

“Now, let me watch the Lakers.”