Big soda ban: Bloomberg administration proposes ban on sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces–headline in the Daily News

BOND Trader for the World

Ad Maker, Stacker of Rice Crackers,

Player with Pilates and the Nation’s Barista;

Poised, slender, ironic,

City of the Toned Arms:

They tell me you are healthy and I believe them, for I

have seen your miserable smokers huddled in the

doorways of your office buildings and restaurants.

And they tell me your body-mass index and I answer: Yes, it

is true I have seen the wives of your hedge-fund managers

take a spin class in the morning and another at 3 in the afternoon.

And they tell me you are expensive and my reply is: yeah, no shit.

Like, the mayor’s a billionaire, okay?

And having answered I turn once more to those who

sneer at this my city, and I roll my eyes at them

and I’m like:

Come and show me another city that charges thirty-four dollars

for two soft-shell crabs and a spoonful of undercooked fava beans.

Where you can have crostini topped with lardo and malfatti

with beef-cheek ragout and shaved pecorino and it’s all cool.

Because you’re going to a screening later where

you’ll have an espresso instead of a soda.

And you are proud to live among the Bond Traders, Ad Makers,

Stackers of Rice Crackers

In the City of the 16-Ounce Soda and the Pint-Sized Mayor,

Stretching

Running

Crunching

Lifting

Biking

Hoping to live long enough for gentrification to reach your block of Sunset Park.

Advertisements