As I walked the streets of old Frito-Laredo,
I saw an old cowboy slumped in a chair
Facedown in a plate of spaghetti alfredo
He asked me for five thousand dollars to spare
Since WellsFargoTexas cut out Medicare.
“The cattle were downsized, they outsourced the cowboys
I lost my 401-K and my pension
We can’t compete with Chinese or Macao boys
I’ve got no insurance and oh, did I mention
I’ve got a slipped disk and mild hypertension
“And SprintNextel County just passed a law
That everyone now has to carry a gun
Unfortunately I’m getting slow on the draw
And in these boots it’s not easy to run.
“I parked in a space that belonged to some stranger,”
The cowboy said, pausing to take a deep breath
“I need a cop or a Texaco Ranger.
I’ve just been shot and I’m bleeding to death.”
“Sorry old pardner, but here in the Lone Star
Here by the Rio Home Depot/Dell Grande
The rule is that each of us follows his own star
Go back to America if you want a hand.”