As I walked the streets of old Frito-Laredo,

I saw an old cowboy slumped in a chair

Facedown in a plate of spaghetti alfredo

He asked me for five thousand dollars to spare

Since WellsFargoTexas cut out Medicare.


“The cattle were downsized, they outsourced the cowboys

I lost my 401-K and my pension

We can’t compete with Chinese or Macao boys

I’ve got no insurance and oh, did I mention

I’ve got a slipped disk and mild hypertension


“And SprintNextel County just passed a law

That everyone now has to carry a gun

Unfortunately I’m getting slow on the draw

And in these boots it’s not easy to run.


“I parked in a space that belonged to some stranger,”

The cowboy said, pausing to take a deep breath

“I need a cop or a Texaco Ranger.

I’ve just been shot and I’m bleeding to death.”


“Sorry old pardner, but here in the Lone Star

Here by the Rio Home Depot/Dell Grande

The rule is that each of us follows his own star

Go back to America if you want a hand.”