If you’re tired of the same old recipe of overtaxation, overregulation and frivolous litigation, get out before you go broke. Texas is calling. Your opportunity awaits.–Texas Governor Rick Perry, attempting to lure businesses out of New York City.

Welcome, Governor Perry, to the Zero-Trans-Fat City

You can check your handgun with the Welcoming Committee

We’re honored to present to you, with our congratulations,

This bound and gold-leafed copy of our civic regulations,

Ensuring that your visit here will run without a hiccup.

Just follow all the parking signs, or else we’ll tow your pickup.

And you can have a Slurpee in a 16-ounce-size cup

Which we ask that you recycle when your visit here is up.

The local cops are friendly so there’s hardly any risk you

Might be shoved against a wall to pat you down and frisk you.

So please feel free to wander up and down our bustling streets

And if you ride the subway, keep your boots off of the seats.