Weak of knee and limp of spine,

America, in sad decline,

Scared it might provoke a pushback,

Doesn’t dare to move its tush back

And make its seat recline.


Scrunched and curled up like a comma

Or a drawing in the Kama

Sutra, buckled in and nestled

In its seat, completely pretzeled,

All thanks to Barack Obama


He wants America to squeeze

In Belgium’s seat, and bend its knees

Up to its chest, and never ever

Touch the seat-recliner lever

Without saying please.


But Putin is a different sort

Nasty, brutish, also short.

Unafraid of causing pain

To the kneecaps of Ukraine.

Protecting with malignity

His national supinity

Try taking him to court!


If Putin or if Netanyahu

Ted Cruz or some other yahoo

Ran the country, we’d be able

To drop down our seat-back table

And lean way back and crush the pants

Of China, Germany and France.