Weak of knee and limp of spine,

America, in sad decline,

Scared it might provoke a pushback,

Doesn’t dare to move its tush back

And make its seat recline.

.

Scrunched and curled up like a comma

Or a drawing in the Kama

Sutra, buckled in and nestled

In its seat, completely pretzeled,

All thanks to Barack Obama

.

He wants America to squeeze

In Belgium’s seat, and bend its knees

Up to its chest, and never ever

Touch the seat-recliner lever

Without saying please.

.

But Putin is a different sort

Nasty, brutish, also short.

Unafraid of causing pain

To the kneecaps of Ukraine.

Protecting with malignity

His national supinity

Try taking him to court!

.

If Putin or if Netanyahu

Ted Cruz or some other yahoo

Ran the country, we’d be able

To drop down our seat-back table

And lean way back and crush the pants

Of China, Germany and France.

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