Gov. Chris Christie on Monday said the United States should not admit any refugees from the Syrian civil war — not even “orphans under age 5.”

Remember when we warned you of the existential threat

Of Ebola germs arriving here from Africa, by jet,

And spreading on the subway, by way of tears and sweat?

Remember all the folks who died? How quickly we forget!


Remember when we told you that we had to get Saddam

Before he finished building missiles and an atom bomb?

It could have been a holocaust, a nuclear pogrom! 

You’re better safe than sorry, just like you were told by mom.


We hope you’ve learned your lesson and from now on you’ll beware.

You didn’t pay attention when we said Obamacare

Was a plot to send your grandmother to the electric chair

And ruin the economy by making it too fair.


And so today we face another existential crisis

Listen, or you’ll someday have to pay the piper’s prices:

Those little kids from Syria are coming to join ISIS

And blow us up with terroristic blowing-up devices.


We know those little Arab kids can look so sweet and cute

But terrorists are planting them as seeds that will take root.

Just wait until they’re all grown up and they learn how to shoot

Turning all our cities into suburbs of Beirut


Every little one of them’s a terrorist supporter

Plotting every awful kind of terroristic slaughter

Planning to decapitate your mom, your dad, your daughter

So leave them on the beach or throw them back into the water.