Remember when we warned you of the existential threat
Of Ebola germs arriving here from Africa, by jet,
And spreading on the subway, by way of tears and sweat?
Remember all the folks who died? How quickly we forget!
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Remember when we told you that we had to get Saddam
Before he finished building missiles and an atom bomb?
It could have been a holocaust, a nuclear pogrom!
You’re better safe than sorry, just like you were told by mom.
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We hope you’ve learned your lesson and from now on you’ll beware.
You didn’t pay attention when we said Obamacare
Was a plot to send your grandmother to the electric chair
And ruin the economy by making it too fair.
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And so today we face another existential crisis
Listen, or you’ll someday have to pay the piper’s prices:
Those little kids from Syria are coming to join ISIS
And blow us up with terroristic blowing-up devices.
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We know those little Arab kids can look so sweet and cute
But terrorists are planting them as seeds that will take root.
Just wait until they’re all grown up and they learn how to shoot
Turning all our cities into suburbs of Beirut
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Every little one of them’s a terrorist supporter
Plotting every awful kind of terroristic slaughter
Planning to decapitate your mom, your dad, your daughter
So leave them on the beach or throw them back into the water.