“I wish him good health.” — Vladimir Putin, about President Biden, after the U.S. imposed sanctions on Russia over the poisoning of opposition leader Alexei Navalny. Navalny says Russian agents tried to kill him by putting a nerve agent, in his boxer shorts.

Wear a sweater when the wind blows

Don’t go swimming far from shore.

Stay away from open windows

Higher than the second floor.

Don’t eat eat hard things, they can choke you

Only eat things soft and mooshy

A pretzel is enough to croak you

Maybe you should stick to sushi.

Buy new briefs from Kohl’s or Nordstrom

Or maybe you should wear instead

—If you think you can afford some—

Underwear that’s made of lead.

Don’t be always hot to Trotsky.

Bear in mind you’re getting old.

Anthrax germs can make you zotzky.

Smallpox starts out like a cold.

Illness can be cruel and stealthy

Death is always sad and woeful.

So here to keep you fit and healthy

Is cabbage soup straight from Chernobyl.