“I wish him good health.” — Vladimir Putin, about President Biden, after the U.S. imposed sanctions on Russia over the poisoning of opposition leader Alexei Navalny. Navalny says Russian agents tried to kill him by putting a nerve agent, in his boxer shorts.

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Wear a sweater when the wind blows

Don’t go swimming far from shore.

Stay away from open windows

Higher than the second floor.

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Don’t eat eat hard things, they can choke you

Only eat things soft and mooshy

A pretzel is enough to croak you

Maybe you should stick to sushi.

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Buy new briefs from Kohl’s or Nordstrom

Or maybe you should wear instead

—If you think you can afford some—

Underwear that’s made of lead.

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Don’t be always hot to Trotsky.

Bear in mind you’re getting old.

Anthrax germs can make you zotzky.

Smallpox starts out like a cold.

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Illness can be cruel and stealthy

Death is always sad and woeful.

So here to keep you fit and healthy

Is cabbage soup straight from Chernobyl.