The Centers for Disease Control warns Americans not to get intimate with their pet chickens

The CDC has spoken and the question must be asked

Is it safe to kiss your chicken if you both are masked?

Can you snog your poultry with relative impunity

If you’ve reached the threshold for achieving “flock immunity”?

If you’ve locked down your cages, then is it safe to sneak

A cuddle with your fowl, cheek to cheek and beak to beak? 


Home the chickens come to roost, but check to see they’re glatt 

Do they all have feathers, or could one be a bat?

Make sure there are chicken feet on those chicken legs

And better look beneath them, to see if they lay eggs.


So if your chicken has been called to heaven’s chicken coop

Rinse her off with Clorox first, before you make that soup.

And keep a social distance and enforce a quarantine

If you plan to serve her up as chicken Florentine.

Just take a little Q-tip to perform a rapid test

To look for antibodies in a drumstick or a breast.

And for your Caesar salad, you must boil your uovo

According to an order that comes straight from Andrew Cuomo.

Heed what Dr. Fauci says, make sure she gets her shot

Before you put your chicken in the oven or the pot.

‘Cause you don’t want your henhouse to be guarded by a Fox

You don’t want Tucker Carlson to give you chicken pox.