Come all who ride this lonely sphere

This ball of green and blue.

Deliverance is almost here,

From you-know-what and you-know-who. 


The world, while spinning on its ass,

Blanketed by greenhouse gas,

Following its destined path,

Passed twelve months. Just do the math!

So join our gay community

We’re granting you immunity.

Our party will be hotsy-totsy!

Dress up as your favorite Nazi.

The theme is post-apocalypto

We take cash or cards. No crypto.

Have a ball, let down your masks.

Drain your flagons and your flasks!

Hoist a cocktail of Paxlovid

It will keep you safe from Covid.

Three parts gin to one part zinc

Makes a tasty, healthful drink.

Good for toasting Dr. Oz.

Try not to snort it up your schnozz

Or spill it on your shirt or vest

At the thought of Kanye West.

As the day gives way to dusk

Give a thought to Elon Musk,

Sitting lonely on the shitter,

Hear the flush: It must be Twitter.

Trumpets blare and raise a loud noise!

It’s a riot by the Proud Boys!

Holy moly, jeepers creepers!

Great to see you all, Oath Keepers!

Three-percenters, vote deniers,

QAnoners and Big Liars!

Come on in, there’s lots of space, you

Know we won’t let Jews replace you!

And in the spirit of the season

We will try you all for treason.