Japanese company rolls out whale-meat vending machines.

Hey there, Japanese landlubber,

Time to chow down on some blubber!

Every part, from tongue to tail,

Is delicious on a whale.

Our handy whale-o-matic

Is the place for treats aquatic

Roasts or chops of blue or fin:

Make your choice and dig right in!

There’s beluga, sperm or killer

Sausages (made without filler).

Stuff yourself like John Belushi!

With a plate of humpback sushi!

You can even get a porpoise

Burger, or filet of orcas.

If you’ve a taste for fried baleen

It’s right here in this neat machine

For dessert, enjoy a lick

Of a frozen Moby Stick,

Or try the latest taste sensation—

Frozen pumpkin-spiced cetacean!

So hurry down and bring some yen

Our prices won’t be seen again!

Or, to be precise, succinct:

Eat them before they go extinct.