Japanese company rolls out whale-meat vending machines.
Hey there, Japanese landlubber,
Time to chow down on some blubber!
Every part, from tongue to tail,
Is delicious on a whale.
Our handy whale-o-matic
Is the place for treats aquatic
Roasts or chops of blue or fin:
Make your choice and dig right in!
There’s beluga, sperm or killer
Sausages (made without filler).
Stuff yourself like John Belushi!
With a plate of humpback sushi!
You can even get a porpoise
Burger, or filet of orcas.
If you’ve a taste for fried baleen
It’s right here in this neat machine
For dessert, enjoy a lick
Of a frozen Moby Stick,
Or try the latest taste sensation—
Frozen pumpkin-spiced cetacean!
So hurry down and bring some yen
Our prices won’t be seen again!
Or, to be precise, succinct:
Eat them before they go extinct.
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