US hosts anti-extremism summit after global terror attacks–BBC News

Listen up, you terrorniks

Before you kill more Coptics

Here’s a way that you can fix

Your image and your optics.


The thing about your caliphate

It’s kind of problematical:

Each time you decapitate

It makes you seem fanatical


Like creatures from another age

Or from a scary dream.

Burning people in a cage

Just makes you look extreme.


So if you have a captive

You’re tempted to behead

Try to be adaptive

And torture them instead.


Don’t make that neck incision

Just beat them black and blue

Make fun of their religion

It’s what we Christians do.


We always show compassion

‘Cause we’ll be judged by God

And knives are so old-fashioned.

We use a cattle prod.


So don’t give in to evil

Just put away that sword

It looks so medieval

Go get a waterboard.