US hosts anti-extremism summit after global terror attacks–BBC News
Listen up, you terrorniks
Before you kill more Coptics
Here’s a way that you can fix
Your image and your optics.
.
The thing about your caliphate
It’s kind of problematical:
Each time you decapitate
It makes you seem fanatical
.
Like creatures from another age
Or from a scary dream.
Just makes you look extreme.
.
So if you have a captive
You’re tempted to behead
Try to be adaptive
And torture them instead.
.
Don’t make that neck incision
Just beat them black and blue
Make fun of their religion
It’s what we Christians do.
.
We always show compassion
‘Cause we’ll be judged by God
And knives are so old-fashioned.
We use a cattle prod.
.
So don’t give in to evil
Just put away that sword
It looks so medieval
Go get a waterboard.
jerryadlersnewsverse 