US hosts anti-extremism summit after global terror attacks–BBC News

Listen up, you terrorniks

Before you kill more Coptics

Here’s a way that you can fix

Your image and your optics.

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The thing about your caliphate

It’s kind of problematical:

Each time you decapitate

It makes you seem fanatical

.

Like creatures from another age

Or from a scary dream.

Burning people in a cage

Just makes you look extreme.

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So if you have a captive

You’re tempted to behead

Try to be adaptive

And torture them instead.

.

Don’t make that neck incision

Just beat them black and blue

Make fun of their religion

It’s what we Christians do.

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We always show compassion

‘Cause we’ll be judged by God

And knives are so old-fashioned.

We use a cattle prod.

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So don’t give in to evil

Just put away that sword

It looks so medieval

Go get a waterboard.

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