Memo to:  Governor Bush

From: Stanley Whittington III, coordinator of voter outreach

Subject: Halloween costumes

Referencing your memo of Tuesday last, staff has assembled the following list of possible Halloween costumes for the Palm Beach Republican Ladies’ Auxiliary Halloween Ball and Fundraiser. These have been chosen to reinforce the campaign message of a “new” Jeb! who connects with voters in the millennial, ethnic, female, and lower-middle-class demographics (see graphs 3 through 14). All have been extensively focus-group tested and scored particularly high in the categories of “fun,” “irony,” and “not exactly what I expected.”

1. Jeb! the Reb

Research indicates that youth

Identifies with what’s uncouth,

Rebellious, noisy and haphazard.

They’re all about The Dukes of Hazzard.

Be a good ole’ boy hell-raiser

In your boots and jeans and blazer,

You could go as Jeb the Reb.

2. Jeb! the Bleb

The next idea is really simple:

You could dress up as a pimple.

Showing off ironic wit

By looking like a giant zit

Explaining, with your trademark grin:

“I get under Donald’s skin!”

You could go as Jeb the Bleb.

3. Jebbie! the Rebbe

Or you could pull a switcheroo

Pretend to be a Lubavitcher Jew!

Kids will think it’s cool and weird

To see you with a long black beard,

In a coat and beaver hat

Irony is where it’s at!

They would see a whole new Jebbie!

When he’s dressed up as a rebbe.

Advertisements