Inspired by seeing The Big Short, here is a repost of a Newsverse from 2009:

 

It is an ancient stockbroker

He’s drinking Coke and Jacks.

“Hey, I know you,” the banker said.

“You worked at Goldman Sachs.

.

“You swung a big one, so I heard

Way back in the day.

But here I came to watch the game

And now you’re in my way.”

.

The stockbroker held up a hand

And ordered J&B

He fixed the banker with a stare

“There was a bond,” quoth he.

.

“Something called a CDO

A total sack of doody

But anyway, a Triple-A

From S&P and Moody.”

.

“I fear you, ancient stockbroker!

I fear you’ll get me fired!

You’re in the tank with Barney Frank.

I think you might be wired.”

.

“We flogged it up and down the Street

And lots of other places

And no one thought that what they’d bought

Might blow up in their faces.”

.

“Chill out, ancient stockbroker!

Get up off the floor!

Why look’st thou so?” “That CDO—

I sold to my brother-in-law!

.

“And when the housing boom went bust

I had nowhere to hide.

Instead of a bow, the CDO

Around my neck was tied.

.

“Houses, houses everywhere

And the market sure did stink

Houses, houses everywhere

I had to see a shrink.

.

“And now I go from bar to bar

From Greenwich to Penn Station

And I try to steer, for the price of a beer

Young bankers from temptation.”

.

The banker stared into his glass

“I hope you get some takers,”

He slowly said, then shook his head.

“Now, let me watch the Lakers.”

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