On December 19, 1998, the House of Representatives impeached Bill Clinton on two charges related to his extramarital affair with Monica Lewinsky. (The charges were for perjury and obstruction of justice.) The historic vote, and subsequent trial in the Senate, involved the work of three men who were elected Speaker of the House Of Representatives by the Republican majority, Newt Gingrich, Bob Livingston and Dennis Hastert.

Almost 17 years later, with the federal indictment of Hastert for illegally concealing up to $3.5 million in hush-money, we finally have a more complete understanding of the men who led this effort.


Newty, Bobby and the Coach

Held the country’s sacred trust.

Kept themselves above reproach

As any public servant must.

Untouched by any hint of lust.


Denny Hastert, Newt and Bobby

Shared, let’s say, a common thrust.

When the president’s blow-jobby

Predilections were discussed

They were shocked! Appalled! Nonplussed!


Bobby, Coachy and the Newt

Now they’ve gone to wrack and rust.

They tasted of forbidden fruit

Their careers have all gone bust.

Sometimes the Universe is just.